My Immortalstuck
by XXXbloody-moonsXXX
Summary: Just more proof that everything becomes 100% more awesome when Homestuckified. Nephrite Rosalie Dava Joanna Serkey Maryam Noir Peixes Enceladus Stuck goes to concerts, fights preps, and angsts about whether she loves Eridan or Gamzee.  Oh, and battles LE.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

AN: Hey Im Artemis dis iz ma 1st story! Special fangz (get it, coz Im grimgoff) 2 my BESTEST BEST FIREND 4 LYFE Enceladus 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling and stuff. U rok! NICK CAGE ROX 2!

Hi my name is Nephrite Rosalie Dava Joanna Serkey Maryam Noir Peixes Enceladus Stuck. The Peixes is because I am the empress to be and the Stuck is because I am the new central character of homestuck and its all about me now. (all of it!1 lol) I am a human-troll hybrid so I get lots of psychic powers and rainbow colored blood and I can have 2 people in each quadrant (but i dont need a moirail or an auptisice because im half human and dats not sexxy). I have long beautiful dark green hair (that's how I got my name) died pink at the tips that reaches my mid-back and pale golden eyes like drops of sunlight and a lot of people tell me I look like Liv Tyler (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Andrew Hussy but I wish I was cuz his lips are major fucking sexy and im a better writer. I'm a rainbow drinker but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin (AN: shez a HIGHBRIDGE so she kan do dat k and pale wite is like rilly lite gray anyway)(ANODDER AN: and also Kanaya did that SO DER). I'm also a grimdark witch, and can do kool magic stuff as well as being psychic. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black, and I'm also grimdark because grimdark is cool, so I'm GRIMGOTH. I love Troll Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with my symbol on it (my symbol is the Operator Symbol (AN: i dunno wat dat is actshelly but Enceladus told me it ment sumfing cool and grimgoff so its ok) and it's drawn in rainbow) and it has matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick (a lady's lips can always be blacker!), white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. My mythological role is the Queen of Everything because that's what I am. I was walking outside on my planet. My planet is the Land of Majyyk and Mirrors and Goffs and it is the coolest planet of all of them. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about, although thats not really surprising cause its my magical Sburb planet after all. A lot of imps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them and because my strife specibus is Middle Fingerkind they exploded into lots of grist.

"Hey Nephrite!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Eridan Ampora!

"What's up Eridan?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me tentacles! (get it cuz im grimgoff)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
>AN: Fangz 2 Enceladus 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!<p>

The next day I woke up on Derse. It was snowing and raining there too. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had (it was blue, not the best but ok). My coffin was black enoby with the Derse moon symbol on the front and inside it was tyrian purple velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of the purple Derse pajamas because they're stupid and kinda preppy. Instead, I put on a black leather dress with my rainbow symbol, a tentacley necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun (like how Aradia's hair was when she wore that kawaii green japanese outfit which I still don't get how that happened but oh well.)

My moiral and best friend, Xander (AN: Enceladus dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. He flipped his long shoulder-length outer space black hair with red streaks and opened his copper-brown eyes. He had on his alchemized grimgoff black tux with blades on it and his symbol on it (AN: lik i sed da derse pajamas r dumb n preppy so dey both changed ok). We put on our makeup (I put on black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner, and he just put on a little black eyeliner).

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Eridan Ampora yesterday!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah? So? We're on the same team and everything that's not very unusual" I said, blushing rainbow.

"Do you like Eridan? Like flush-like?" he asked as we went out of the tower thingies and into the streets of Derse.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" he exclaimed. Just then, Eridan walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess wwhat." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Wwell, Aerosmith are havving a concert on Skaia and Nick Cage wwill be singing there too" he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love Aerosmith. They are my favorite band, besides Trisha Yearwood (AN: shez da 1 who sings "how do i liv (lol geddit lik liv tyler) u stupid prepz). And obviously Nick Cage is like THE GREATEST THING EVER.

"Wwell... do you wwant to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da grimgoff ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN ENCELADUS! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 aeropostale

On the night of the concert I alchemized a new outfit just for the concert. I made black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them I wore ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. It had those ripped spiky things that went around my hips and thighs like that one dress Jade had once, except she's a prep so not. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I figured Eridan would think those were cool. I straightened my hair and made it look all tentacley. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists and watched the beautiful rainbows flow. I read a ~ATH book (I'm a really good programmer too) while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some grimgoff techno music. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner so I looked like a raccoon except sexy. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anywa and it would just cover up the glow from my skin. I drank some orangish blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Eridan was waiting there in front of John's flying car. He stole it from John because John is such a bluh bluh huge prep so it's ok. He was wearing a God Tier hoodie except grimgoff'd, baggy black sk8r jacket like Vvriska, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Eridan!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Nephrite." he said back. We walked into the flying black Mercedes-Benz (he changed it so the authority regulators couldnt find it and the license plate said 612 now) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido. We both ate sopor slime and got high. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Nic Cage sing Aerosmith.

"Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you babe And I don't want to miss a thing" sang Nic (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Nick is so fucking hot." I said to Eridan, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Eridan looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on because I'm PSYCHIC.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Eridan sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Nick and also he's in a bunch of romantic comedies. I fucking hate those, they aren't even depressing." I said disgustedly, thinking of the stupid preppy ugly blond faces of the movies.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Eridan. After the concert, we drank some faygo and asked Stephen Tyler and Nic Cage for their autographs and photos with them. We got concert tees. Eridan and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Eridan didn't go back to Derse, instead he drove the car into... the Furthest Ring!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming ok nephrite's name is NEPHERT nut mary su OK! ERIDAN IS SOO FLUSH fir her dat he is acting deferent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! lik dey were flarp buddies or sumfin!

"ERIDAN!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Eridan didn't answer but he stopped the flying car on some meteor and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Nephrite?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

"You're starting to sound like Kar and he's a prep so stop swwearing for a sec ok" he said.

Then Eridan leaned in extra-close and I looked into his grimgoth red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and genocidal mania and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then... suddenly just as I Eridan kissed me passionately. Eridan climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against the meteor. He took of my topand I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. He wouldn't let me take of his cape though. Then he put his bucket into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and he has big fish lips like Andrew Hussy except not because that's impossible and anyway my pale body became all warm. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was... Dc Scratch!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dc Scratch swor is coz he had a hedache ok! i men he haz a FUCKEN CUEBALL 4 A HEAD dats gotta hurt sumtims! an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PM im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! 

Dc Scrach made and Eridan and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of rainbow blood down my pallid face. Eridan draped his cape around me comfortingly, except I kept getting tangled up in it so he took it back. Dc Scratch took us back to his weird green tower room thing. When we got to his weird green tower room thing Dc Scratch took us to Neopet Redglare and Marquise Mindfang who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Furthest Ring!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why d1d you do such 4 th1ng, you cr1m1n4l dunc3s?" asked Redglare.

"How d8re you?" demanded Mindfang. "And it was pointless anyway there weren't even any drones or anything."

And then Eridan shrieked. "BECAUSE IM FLUSH FOR HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dc Scratch and Redglare still looked mad (even thought he doesnt have a face) but Mindfang said. "Fiiiiiiiine. Very well. You may go 8ack to your dream plan8ts."

Eridan and I went back to the flying car and flew away while the ancestors glared at us.

"Are you okay, Nephrite?" Eridan asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. When we got back to Derse I went to my dream tower and brushed my razor-sharp teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with glowing green lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Eridan was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'How can I livve wwithout you'. I was so flattered, and his accent made it sound even sexxxiery. We hugged and had sloppy makeouts (no bukkits you pervs) . After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his dream tower.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil uu give me 8 gooooooood revows!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX612XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all long and traily around the end and a matching top with green skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of mother grub skull earrings, and two spirographs in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with tyrian purple.

In the best restaurant on Derse called 3 O Clock In the Morning cause that's when I usually go there, I ate some Betty Crocker cereal with yellow blood instead of milk, and a glass of green blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Fuckass!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white-and-gray face of a grimgoth boy with spiky black hair with indigo streaks in it. He was wearing so much makeup that I covered his whole face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses just like Eridan's and there was no scars on his face anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy Michigan accent. He looked exactly like Matthew Mcconaughey. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one and also I'm a troll so I doubly didn't get one so I guess like a negative times a negative equals a positive so maybe I did get one after all? Or something?

"I'm So MoThErFuCkIn SoRrY." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My MoThErFuCkIn NaMe'S gAmZeE MaKaRa, AlThOuGh MoSt MoThErFuCkIn TrOlLs CaLl Me DiAbOlO tHeSe dAyS." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"BECAUSE I LOVE TO KILL OTHER MOTHERFUCKIN TROLLS." he giggled. (AN: Gamzees quirk is really hard so in my story hes gona use his quirk from after he went grimgoth and stanist cuz in my story hes grimgoff and stanist ok?)

"Well, guess what I am a vampire." I confessed.

"really?" he whimpered.

"Well actually I'm a rainbow drinker" I roared.

"WHAT'S THAT" he inquisitioned.

"That's basically the same thing as a vampire" I condoned.

We sat down to talk for a while. We found out that we had alot in common like we both hate ICP! And we both think that Nick Cage is the sexiest person EVA! Then Eridan came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me and it wasn't getting genocided like his surprise for landdwwellers is. So I went away with him.


End file.
